Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night! Do it now, do it now, I think you know how!
Fair Duel - Jōunouchi Katsuya (Joey Wheeler) vs. Kaiba Seto
Q: What is "Fair Duel"?
A: "Fair Duel" is my attempt to fairly create a duel between two characters of the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime. I construct decks for them based on cards they have been shown using in the anime, until they have 40 cards each. I number each of the cards and use a number randomisation program to simulate the random nature of drawing cards. I do my best to imagine how the respective characters would react in various situations in the duel and script out the results below.
Note: My naming rules for Yu-Gi-Oh! cards - If the card's name was originally in English, I will use the original name for the card (i.e. "Black Magician" instead of "Dark Magician"). However, if the card's name is in Japanese, then I will use the official English name for the card.
Duel Standby!
Kaiba: I have to say I didn't expect a rematch so soon, Wheeler. What's the matter? Couldn't wait to lose to me again?
Joey: Yeah, well I gotta feelin' things are gonna be different this time, Kaiba! Today's the day I'm finally gonna beat you!
Kaiba: You really are delusional. But very well. Then we'll toss a coin to see who gets to go first. (He takes a coin out of his pocket and flips it) Call it.
Joey: Uh... Heads!
(Kaiba catches the coin and looks at it. It shows Tails)
Kaiba: Tails. Too bad, Wheeler. Looks like I get the first turn.
Joey: Aww, man... Ah well, minor setback. Let's duel!
(Each player draws five cards from their Deck. The game is on!)
Kaiba: I draw! (He does). I set a card face down and summon Grand Dragon in Attack Mode! (2000/100). I end my turn here.
Joey: Alright, Kaiba, get ready to feel the thunder! I draw! I set two cards face-down on the field. Next, I summon Blue Flame Swordsman in Defense Mode! (1800/1600) I'm endin' my turn now. Bring it on, Kaiba!
Kaiba: (Draws a card and smirks) Lucky for you, my Grand Dragon can't attack unless I control another Dragon-Type monster. I set one monster in Defense Mode and end my turn.
Joey: Luck's what I'm all about, Kaiba! My turn to draw! (He draws a card and looks at it. A smile breaks onto his face) Alright! I told ya Lady Luck was on my side! I activate my Magic Card, Shield & Sword! This swaps the Attack and Defense points of all the monsters on the field this turn! Which means your Grand Dragon's Attack points drop to 100!
Kaiba: No!
Joey: Too bad, Kaiba! I switch Blue Flame Swordsman into Attack Mode! Go, Blue Flame Swordsman! Attack Grand Dragon!
(Blue Flame Swordsman slices right through Grand Dragon. Kaiba's Life Points drop from 4000 to 3500.)
Joey: How about that, Kaiba!? I end my turn!
Kaiba: Hmph, you really think you have me beat after that one attack? My turn. I summon X-Head Cannon in Attack Mode! My turn ends here.
Joey: My turn! (Thinking) He's still got that Trap Card on the field... But if he was gonna activate it, he probably woulda done it when I attacked his Grand Dragon already. That must be for somethin' else. (Out loud) Since my Blue Flame Swordsman and your X-Head Cannon have the same amount of Attack Points, I guess I'll just attack your Defense Position monster! Go, Blue Flame Swordsman!
(Blue Flame Swordsman slashes, but something doesn't feel right... Sure enough, Cyber Pod materialises before disintegrating)
Joey: Cyber Pod!? Oh, no!
Kaiba: Oh, yes! Now all monsters on the field are destroyed! Then, we each draw five cards from the top of our Decks, and Special Summon any Level 4 or lower monsters to the field! I Special Summon Blood Vorse in Attack Mode!
Joey: Well, I summon Gearfried the Iron Knight, Panther Warrior and Baby Dragon to the field! Looks like luck really is on my side, huh, Kaiba?
Kaiba: ...
Joey: What's more, since I'm still in my Battle Phase, I can still attack! I tribute my Gearfried the Iron Knight in order to let my Panther Warrior attack your Blood Vorse! Go, Swift Panther Slash!
Kaiba: Argh! (Kaiba's Life Points drop to 3400)
Joey: And now that your field is clear, my Baby Dragon can attack you directly!
(Kaiba shields himself from the attack with his arms. His Life Points drop further, to 2200.)
Joey: Looks like that Cyber Pod worked out better for me than you, huh Kaiba?
Kaiba: Hmph... But why would you sacrifice your stronger monster? You could have done much more damage if you had sacrificed the weaker Baby Dragon - (gasp) Unless... You couldn't-!
Joey: Oh, I could, and I did! Since I haven't summoned a monster this turn, I get to summon Time Wizard in Defense Mode! An' as I'm sure you're aware, Time Wizard has a special ability! I can toss a coin, and if I call it right, my Baby Dragon evolves into Thousand Dragon!
Kaiba: But if you call it wrong, your monsters are destroyed, and half their total Attack Points are deducted from your Life Points. Are you sure you want to take that risk?
Joey: Hey, what's life without a little risk, right? Now all I need is a coin... (He searches his pockets, but finds nothing) Uhh... Say, you don't happen to have a coin I can borrow, do ya?
Kaiba: (Smirks) Hmph, typical. (He tosses the coin he used at the start of the match to Joey) Here. I'll even let you keep it, since I'm such a nice guy.
Joey: (Sarcastic) Gee, thanks. Okay, here goes nothin'. Time Roulette, go! (He flips the coin into the air) Come on! Heads!
(The coin seems to arc through the air in slow motion. It comes down, and Joey catches it. He looks at the coin and...)
Joey: Nooo! Tails! (Joey watches in horror as his Panther Warrior, Time Wizard and Baby Dragon explode before his eyes. His Life Points drop to 2150.) Man... I'm havin' real bad luck with coin tosses today...
Kaiba: (With veiled sarcasm) Well, for a minute there I thought you had me beat.
Joey: Grrr...I set two cards face-down and end my turn.
Kaiba: I draw. (Smirks) Don't worry, Wheeler, this'll all be over soon. First, I use Silent Doom to bring Grand Dragon back to the field. Then, I activate Monster Reborn to revive Blood Vorse. Finally, I tribute these two cards to summon my ultimate monster! Come forth, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!
Joey: No way!
Kaiba: Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon! Burst Stream of Destruction!
Joey: I activate a Trap Card! Monster Box! Now I get to toss that coin you so generously gave me once again. If I call it right, your monster's attack power drops to 0 for the rest of the turn! I'll admit, I've had bad luck on coin tosses so far, but they say the third time is lucky! I call heads! (He flips the coin) Come on... (He catches it) YES! Too bad, Kaiba!
(Blue-Eyes's attack ceases)
Kaiba: Hmph. But how long will that luck last, I wonder? I end my turn.
Joey: My turn to draw! I pay 500 Life Points to keep Monster Box active on the field! (His Life Points drop to 1650) (Thinking) The only monster I got is Jinzo, and I can't summon him without a tribute! I gotta depend on luck until I can draw a monster card! (Out loud) I end my turn!
Kaiba: Not even going to summon? You must be really desperate if you're still relying on that Trap Card to protect you. I draw! Blue-Eyes, attack Wheeler directly!
Joey: I activate Monster Box again! (Tosses the coin) Come on, heads!
(The coin comes down... tails.)
Joey: NOOOO! (His Life Points drop to 0. Joey falls to his knees) Man...
Kaiba: Well, I'm impressed you held out for so long. But you should know a runner-up like you could never beat a champion like me.
Joey: Ah, well...
Q: What is "Fair Duel"?
A: "Fair Duel" is my attempt to fairly create a duel between two characters of the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime. I construct decks for them based on cards they have been shown using in the anime, until they have 40 cards each. I number each of the cards and use a number randomisation program to simulate the random nature of drawing cards. I do my best to imagine how the respective characters would react in various situations in the duel and script out the results below.
Note: My naming rules for Yu-Gi-Oh! cards - If the card's name was originally in English, I will use the original name for the card (i.e. "Black Magician" instead of "Dark Magician"). However, if the card's name is in Japanese, then I will use the official English name for the card.
Duel Standby!
Kaiba: I have to say I didn't expect a rematch so soon, Wheeler. What's the matter? Couldn't wait to lose to me again?
Joey: Yeah, well I gotta feelin' things are gonna be different this time, Kaiba! Today's the day I'm finally gonna beat you!
Kaiba: You really are delusional. But very well. Then we'll toss a coin to see who gets to go first. (He takes a coin out of his pocket and flips it) Call it.
Joey: Uh... Heads!
(Kaiba catches the coin and looks at it. It shows Tails)
Kaiba: Tails. Too bad, Wheeler. Looks like I get the first turn.
Joey: Aww, man... Ah well, minor setback. Let's duel!
(Each player draws five cards from their Deck. The game is on!)
Kaiba: I draw! (He does). I set a card face down and summon Grand Dragon in Attack Mode! (2000/100). I end my turn here.
Joey: Alright, Kaiba, get ready to feel the thunder! I draw! I set two cards face-down on the field. Next, I summon Blue Flame Swordsman in Defense Mode! (1800/1600) I'm endin' my turn now. Bring it on, Kaiba!
Kaiba: (Draws a card and smirks) Lucky for you, my Grand Dragon can't attack unless I control another Dragon-Type monster. I set one monster in Defense Mode and end my turn.
Joey: Luck's what I'm all about, Kaiba! My turn to draw! (He draws a card and looks at it. A smile breaks onto his face) Alright! I told ya Lady Luck was on my side! I activate my Magic Card, Shield & Sword! This swaps the Attack and Defense points of all the monsters on the field this turn! Which means your Grand Dragon's Attack points drop to 100!
Kaiba: No!
Joey: Too bad, Kaiba! I switch Blue Flame Swordsman into Attack Mode! Go, Blue Flame Swordsman! Attack Grand Dragon!
(Blue Flame Swordsman slices right through Grand Dragon. Kaiba's Life Points drop from 4000 to 3500.)
Joey: How about that, Kaiba!? I end my turn!
Kaiba: Hmph, you really think you have me beat after that one attack? My turn. I summon X-Head Cannon in Attack Mode! My turn ends here.
Joey: My turn! (Thinking) He's still got that Trap Card on the field... But if he was gonna activate it, he probably woulda done it when I attacked his Grand Dragon already. That must be for somethin' else. (Out loud) Since my Blue Flame Swordsman and your X-Head Cannon have the same amount of Attack Points, I guess I'll just attack your Defense Position monster! Go, Blue Flame Swordsman!
(Blue Flame Swordsman slashes, but something doesn't feel right... Sure enough, Cyber Pod materialises before disintegrating)
Joey: Cyber Pod!? Oh, no!
Kaiba: Oh, yes! Now all monsters on the field are destroyed! Then, we each draw five cards from the top of our Decks, and Special Summon any Level 4 or lower monsters to the field! I Special Summon Blood Vorse in Attack Mode!
Joey: Well, I summon Gearfried the Iron Knight, Panther Warrior and Baby Dragon to the field! Looks like luck really is on my side, huh, Kaiba?
Kaiba: ...
Joey: What's more, since I'm still in my Battle Phase, I can still attack! I tribute my Gearfried the Iron Knight in order to let my Panther Warrior attack your Blood Vorse! Go, Swift Panther Slash!
Kaiba: Argh! (Kaiba's Life Points drop to 3400)
Joey: And now that your field is clear, my Baby Dragon can attack you directly!
(Kaiba shields himself from the attack with his arms. His Life Points drop further, to 2200.)
Joey: Looks like that Cyber Pod worked out better for me than you, huh Kaiba?
Kaiba: Hmph... But why would you sacrifice your stronger monster? You could have done much more damage if you had sacrificed the weaker Baby Dragon - (gasp) Unless... You couldn't-!
Joey: Oh, I could, and I did! Since I haven't summoned a monster this turn, I get to summon Time Wizard in Defense Mode! An' as I'm sure you're aware, Time Wizard has a special ability! I can toss a coin, and if I call it right, my Baby Dragon evolves into Thousand Dragon!
Kaiba: But if you call it wrong, your monsters are destroyed, and half their total Attack Points are deducted from your Life Points. Are you sure you want to take that risk?
Joey: Hey, what's life without a little risk, right? Now all I need is a coin... (He searches his pockets, but finds nothing) Uhh... Say, you don't happen to have a coin I can borrow, do ya?
Kaiba: (Smirks) Hmph, typical. (He tosses the coin he used at the start of the match to Joey) Here. I'll even let you keep it, since I'm such a nice guy.
Joey: (Sarcastic) Gee, thanks. Okay, here goes nothin'. Time Roulette, go! (He flips the coin into the air) Come on! Heads!
(The coin seems to arc through the air in slow motion. It comes down, and Joey catches it. He looks at the coin and...)
Joey: Nooo! Tails! (Joey watches in horror as his Panther Warrior, Time Wizard and Baby Dragon explode before his eyes. His Life Points drop to 2150.) Man... I'm havin' real bad luck with coin tosses today...
Kaiba: (With veiled sarcasm) Well, for a minute there I thought you had me beat.
Joey: Grrr...I set two cards face-down and end my turn.
Kaiba: I draw. (Smirks) Don't worry, Wheeler, this'll all be over soon. First, I use Silent Doom to bring Grand Dragon back to the field. Then, I activate Monster Reborn to revive Blood Vorse. Finally, I tribute these two cards to summon my ultimate monster! Come forth, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!
Joey: No way!
Kaiba: Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon! Burst Stream of Destruction!
Joey: I activate a Trap Card! Monster Box! Now I get to toss that coin you so generously gave me once again. If I call it right, your monster's attack power drops to 0 for the rest of the turn! I'll admit, I've had bad luck on coin tosses so far, but they say the third time is lucky! I call heads! (He flips the coin) Come on... (He catches it) YES! Too bad, Kaiba!
(Blue-Eyes's attack ceases)
Kaiba: Hmph. But how long will that luck last, I wonder? I end my turn.
Joey: My turn to draw! I pay 500 Life Points to keep Monster Box active on the field! (His Life Points drop to 1650) (Thinking) The only monster I got is Jinzo, and I can't summon him without a tribute! I gotta depend on luck until I can draw a monster card! (Out loud) I end my turn!
Kaiba: Not even going to summon? You must be really desperate if you're still relying on that Trap Card to protect you. I draw! Blue-Eyes, attack Wheeler directly!
Joey: I activate Monster Box again! (Tosses the coin) Come on, heads!
(The coin comes down... tails.)
Joey: NOOOO! (His Life Points drop to 0. Joey falls to his knees) Man...
Kaiba: Well, I'm impressed you held out for so long. But you should know a runner-up like you could never beat a champion like me.
Joey: Ah, well...
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