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How to apologise and (at least sound like you) mean it
Apologising is a finer art than most people think, and it can be tricky to deliver an apology that doesn't sound subversive or insincere. Basic Instructions has done a few strips on this, but here's my take on how to deliver a genuine apology.
First off, it helps a lot if you specify why you're apologising. Don't just say "I'm sorry", say "I'm sorry for..." It lets the other person (or people) know that you're actually putting thought into your apology.
Don't apologise for how they felt, apologise for what you did. For instance, if you offend someone, don't say "I'm sorry you were offended", say "I'm sorry that I offended you".
It doesn't matter whether or not you "meant" to do something, the fact is that you still did it. Saying "I didn't mean it" or something similar is just an excuse and doesn't help anything.
Don't try to justify yourself. A sentence that begins with "I'm sorry" should not include "but" or "I just" or anything of that nature. Just apologise for what you did and don't try to make excuses.
This goes without saying, but don't apologise in a way that makes it sound like it's the other person's fault for being offended. Don't say something like "I'm sorry my racist joke offended you, but it's just a joke, you really need to lighten up". That's likely to just make them even more offended.
Apologising is a finer art than most people think, and it can be tricky to deliver an apology that doesn't sound subversive or insincere. Basic Instructions has done a few strips on this, but here's my take on how to deliver a genuine apology.
First off, it helps a lot if you specify why you're apologising. Don't just say "I'm sorry", say "I'm sorry for..." It lets the other person (or people) know that you're actually putting thought into your apology.
Don't apologise for how they felt, apologise for what you did. For instance, if you offend someone, don't say "I'm sorry you were offended", say "I'm sorry that I offended you".
It doesn't matter whether or not you "meant" to do something, the fact is that you still did it. Saying "I didn't mean it" or something similar is just an excuse and doesn't help anything.
Don't try to justify yourself. A sentence that begins with "I'm sorry" should not include "but" or "I just" or anything of that nature. Just apologise for what you did and don't try to make excuses.
This goes without saying, but don't apologise in a way that makes it sound like it's the other person's fault for being offended. Don't say something like "I'm sorry my racist joke offended you, but it's just a joke, you really need to lighten up". That's likely to just make them even more offended.
I honestly think before to teach other people how to make some sort of excuses. You should learn yourself how to do it because yet it is a few innocent person victims of your rumours spreaded on the network and over irc.
ReplyDeleteBut sorry if for you , pushing someone transgender so {Already in a big depress and followed by a psyciatre for} to remain alone by pushing their every friends to stay away in planting the seed of the doubt toward the said person , in which way are you beter than those predator you speak about ? In which way pushing someone in depress to be and remain alone is beter than some predator? Your method are other than the hypnosis it is true. The result are the same , You says the predator are often a sociopath ? What is a sociopath for you if it is someone without any emotion and who isn't at all hurted to hurt other without any other reason than their pleasure ? You think to know how to teach the sorryness to someone else ? This is the most hypocritical thing you can do.
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