You're not a baby on my heart!

Another kind of pointless trivia thing. This time it's Final Fantasy VII, but specifically focussing on the many translation mistakes and other oddities.

Ever wonder why Cloud Strife has two unusual names, whereas everyone else has a relatively normal surname? It's due to a Japanese joke/pun that doesn't translate very well. In Japanese, Cloud's surname sounds very close to the common German surname "Strauss" (and in fact, his mother's name is given as "Claudia Strauss" in the artbook) - "Sutoraifu" vs. "Sutorausu". This doesn't come across as well in English.

Barret's name is a Japanese pun on the word "bullet" (both are pronounced "baretto") which also sounds like the common surname "Barrett". Again, not easy to convey in English. In the game files and in some early promo material, his name was spelled "Ballet".

In the Temple of the Ancients, Cloud and Aerith have a rather nonsensical exchange when Aerith is reading the writing on the wall. She slowly reads out "Black Materia", the letters appearing one at a time in the text box. Cloud says "Black Materia!" and Aerith replies "Hey! ...Black Materia." Uh... what? In the Japanese version, this scene utilises a type of wordplay called ginatayomi, which really doesn't translate well, if at all. Written Japanese doesn't use spaces, so it can sometimes be ambiguous as to where one word ends and the next begins. In this case, Aerith read it correctly, but put the space in the wrong place, so instead of "Kuro Materia" (Black Materia), she came out with "Kuroma Teria" (Black-Magic Terrier). Cloud corrects her with "Kuro Materia", embarrassing her.

In Japanese, the word for "star" and "planet" is the same - "hoshi". This caused a few scenes where wordplay is missed due to the double meaning not existing in English. When Elmyra is recounting the time Aerith's mother died, she says that young Aerith says her mother had "returned to the planet", adding "I asked if she meant a star in the sky, but she said it was this planet." Later on, Tifa's remark that she hopes "the stars can hear us" was supposed to be a reversal of the "You can hear the cry of the planet" motif, but due to the translation it doesn't come across that way.

When the party is arrested after breaking into Shinra HQ, Tifa asks Aerith about the Cetra and the Promised Land. In the English version, Aerith just says a few vague lines in her normal speaking style, but in the Japanese version, she recites what might be a poem, prayer or even nursery rhyme. The translation might not have caused problems, had Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII not contained flashback scenes of Lucrecia reciting Cetra poetry to young Vincent, which was supposed to be a call-back to this scene.

Even Cloud's first line in the game (after giving his name) is an example of translation awkwardness. In English, he says "I don't care what your names are. Once this job's over... I'm out of here." This establishes him to English-speaking players as a straightforward jerk who only cares about his job. His line in Japanese is "Anta tachi no namae nante kyoumi nai ne. Douse kono shigoto ga owattara... owakare da." This is more youthful and playful, with him suddenly switching to a more formal, pretentious choice of wording at the end, which means that in Japanese, he comes off more as a mouthy, condescending poser who thinks it's appropriate to talk to his co-workers like they're idiots, with added implications of him thinking he's better (i.e. more skilled) than he actually is.

Quite a few names, mostly referencing real-life things, got mangled by the translation due to misinterpretation of the katakana.
Cloud's signature weapon's name, "Buster Sword", is a corruption of "bastard sword", a real-life type of sword.
The sunken plane, Gelnika, was most likely supposed to be Guernica (or Gernika), the name of a town in Spain which was bombed by Nazi Germany (an event which was immortalised by Pablo Picasso in his painting Guernica).
Several references to Norse mythology got missed. The summon Odin's attack, Gungnir no Yari (Gungnir Lance, "Gungnir" being the name of Odin's spear in the myths) got rendered as "Gunge Lance" somehow, leaving players wondering what slime had to do with the attack. The town of Nibelheim was supposed to be Niflheim, one of the Nine Realms in Norse mythology, and Midgar was named after Midgard, the "Earth" realm. The giant serpent that lives in the marsh near Nibelheim is named "Midgar Zolom", which is a severe corruption of "Miðgarðsormr", another name for Jǫrmungandr, the giant serpent that encircles the world in Norse mythology.
There were also many, many enemy names that got mangled by the translation.
  • Cockatrice became Cokatolis.
  • Basilisk became Bagrisk (somehow).
  • Evil Wrap became Bad Rap.
  • An enemy fought in Shinra Mansion that takes the form of a giant pair of scales with a face has the bizarre name "Jersey" in the English translation. Its original name was "Judge", which is written as "Jajji" in katakana).
  • Somehow, one enemy was given the wrong name in translation. The enemy "Chimera" (a recurring enemy in Final Fantasy games) was renamed "Harpy" in the English translation, despite harpies and chimeras being two completely different mythological creatures.
  • Maximum Chimera became Maximum Kimaira (which is a literal katakana reading - apparently the translation team had no idea what a chimera was).
  • A flying enemy with a giant eye was named "Allemagne" in the English version, which is the French word for "Germany". There is no obvious connection between this enemy and Germany, or France for that matter. It was of course supposed to be "Ahriman", another recurring enemy in the series.
  • The boss Proudclad got the rather amusing name "Proud Clod" in translation.
  • For whatever reason, the enemy Sabotender was translated as "Cactuer" in this game, even though every other game uses "Cactuar". However, enemies called "Cactuar" do also exist in this game - which are the "Sapotender" enemies, the alternate versions whose name is variously translated as "Kactuar", "Flowering Cactuar" or "Cactuar King". So basically, in every other game, Sabotender = Cactuar and Sapotender = Kactuar, but in this game, Sabotender = Cactuer and Sapotender = Cactuar.
  • The enemy "Scissor" got rendered as "Ceasar" (a misspelling of "Caesar").
  • Coeurl (another recurring enemy) became "Cuahl".
  • "Doubull" (a pun on "double" and "bull") became "Doorbull" (the enemy has nothing to do with doors whatsoever).
  • The enemy "Gighee" is an interesting case. Given its strong resemblance to David Bowie, it was most likely meant to be called "Ziggy", as a reference to Bowie's "Ziggy Stardust" persona. However, it's also a pun on "Gee-gee", which is an insulting name for a bad horse.
  • Geminismi got the nonsense name "Jemnezmy" due to the translators missing the reference in the katakana.
  • Lesser Ropross (a reference to a flying creature from the manga Babel II) became "Lessaloploth", again a case of the translators missing the reference.
  • Reblicon (a play on "replicon") became "Levrikon".
  • Moss Slasher (so named because it resembles a gardening tool) became "Moth Slasher" because the "su" katakana stands in for the "th" sound, which doesn't exist in Japanese (this is how "Aerith" became "Aeris" in the translation - her name is written "Earisu" in katakana, and the translators missed the "Earth" reference in her name).
  • Jammer Armour became "Jamar Armor".
  • "Aps" was a mistranslation of Apsu, a term used in Sumerian and Akkadian mythology, usually associated with fresh water (which makes the fact that this boss is fought in a sewer somewhat ironic).
  • "Heretic Hojo" became "Helletic Hojo", though this may have been a pun.
  • A case of traditional mistranslation rather than misinterpretation of the katakana - the boss Suikyū became "Waterpolo". "Suikyū" literally translates as "Water Ball", which is exactly what the enemy is - a ball of water. The translators must have thought "Waterball" was the name of a sport (like football or basketball), and given it the name of an actual sport - water polo - in the translation. 
  • Belcher Tusk became "Velcher Task", another nonsense name caused by katakana misinterpretation.
  • Maul Dancer became "Malldancer". I don't think it ever dances in shopping malls.
The final boss became a victim of this. The name of his first form was intended to be "Rebirth Sephiroth", a reference to the sefirot, the Kabbalah concept from which Sephiroth gets his name. However, the translators mistook the name to be "Reverse Sephiroth" (which is identical in katakana) and put their own spin on it, ending up with "Bizarro Sephiroth". The second form's name got rendered as "Safer Sephiroth", despite not being safe by any stretch of the imagination. It was actually supposed to be "Sefer Sephiroth", "Sefer" meaning "book" in Hebrew and being another
Kabbalah reference, and possibly also a pun on "seraph", the six-winged creatures in the Bible (given that this form of Sephiroth has six wings).

In one scene in the game, Bugenhagen starts talking about something called "Life's dream", which just sounds like something vaguely philosophical. It turns out this is just a mistranslation of "Lifestream".

Cloud's Limit Break "Climhazzard" was intended to be "Climb Hazard". Barret's "Ungarmax" was supposed to be "Anger Max", though this was corrected in the PC version. "Cross-slash" (another of Cloud's Limit Breaks) was mistranslated from "Kyōgiri", which actually means "Curse Slash".

When Ifalna (Aerith's mother) is talking about where Jenova landed, she says it landed in the "Knowlespole". No such location is visited in the game, and the name is never mentioned again - most likely because it was just a bizarre mistranslation of "North Pole".

There was a joke in the original where the mayor of Midgar (described as a "pizza" by Barret) and his assistant were named Domino and Hut, a reference to two popular pizza chains (Domino's Pizza and Pizza Hut). However, the translation ruined the joke slightly by mistranslating Hut's name as "Hart".

Cid's wife, Shera, was supposed to be named Sierra, an actual real-life name.

Any time something is called "W-something" in the game, it's a result of this. In Japanese, the letter W is pronounced identically to the English word "double", and is often used as a shorthand for said word. That this is not done in English didn't stop the translators from keeping names like "W Machine Gun" (Double Machine Gun), "W-Item" (Double Item) and "W-Summon" (Double Summon).

Yuffie's name is supposed to be a reference to the actual Chinese name "Yu Fei", since Wutai is basically Final Fantasy VII's version of Imperial China.

Gorky (a reference to Russian and Soviet writer Maxim Gorky) got mistranslated as "Gorkii".

Godot (a reference to the play Waiting for Godot) became "Godo".

Jenova is meant to be a pun on "Jehovah", one of the many names for God in Christian and Jewish mythology, and yet another religious reference. A more accurate localisation would probably have been Jenovah.

In the location "Inside of Gaea's Cliff", you can find an item in a chest called "Last Elixir". However, examining your inventory will reveal no such item. Where did it go, you ask? Actually, "Last Elixir" is just the Japanese name for the Megalixir item. The translation team just forgot to change the name in that one instance.

Another item name mistranslation comes when you win one of the many optional Fort Condor minigames. You are given three items called "Tincture", which are actually Ethers - "Tincture" was the translation used for the Ether item (which has always been called "Ether" in Japanese) in Final Fantasy VI, and somehow ended up being used in this one instance in Final Fantasy VII too.

An example that's not a mistranslation per se, but rather awkwardly handled. In the boss fight against the Guard Scorpion, Cloud yells a warning to Barret to not attack when the boss's tail is up, or it'll counterattack with its laser, which is intended to introduce the player to the Active Time Battle system. However, since the dialogue appears while the battle is still going on, the ambiguous wording can lead to players doing the exact wrong thing. What Cloud actually says is "Barret, be careful! Attack while its tail's up! It's gonna counterattack with its laser." The meaning was supposed to be more like "If you attack while its tail's up, it'll counterattack with its laser", but since "Attack while its tail's up!" appears in its own text box, players very often misinterpreted it as an instruction rather than a warning against doing so.

In the Japanese version, Aerith speaks in a very rough, tomboyish way, to match her upbringing and contrast with her girly appearance. The English version made her dialogue playful and almost cutesy, losing the deliberate contrast. 

During the scenes where Cloud is being mind-controlled, in the Japanese version he speaks in a completely different, more formal way, indicating that he's become someone else (i.e. Sephiroth). In the English version, he continues to speak in his normal way.

The term used in the English translation for Cloud's Mako problems is "Mako poisoning", which fits since Mako is an allegory for nuclear power and radiation. However, the term used in Japanese is "Mako chuudoku", which can also mean "Mako addiction". This gives it an added implication of being similar to a drug addiction, which causes some scenes (like the one where Tifa finds Cloud asleep in a gutter) to gain a more pop-psychedelic interpretation, and makes certain things about Cloud's struggle clearer, since his problem is more a psychological one than a physical one.

A translation choice resulted in "Sephiroth copies" being referred to as "Sephiroth clones", but this was kind of a misleading name as they aren't technically clones - they're soldiers who have been infused with Jenova cells and Mako.

The Battle Square in the Gold Saucer is rather badly translated. Chief among the problems are the options for continuing or giving up being labelled as "Off course!" and "No, way!"

An error accidentally caused the same line in one scene to be duplicated and assigned to two different characters. The translators then tweaked the lines slightly to give each character their distinctive voice, resulting in this immortal exchange.

Cloud: ...Hmm. That's how you'll fool them.
Aerith: .........Hmmmmmmm. So that's how you fooled them.
The original Japanese dialogue was something like:
Cloud: I need to go in [to a brothel] to get information about Tifa.
Aerith: So that's your excuse, huh?

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